When I told my sister about Sheet Harbour, she said that I'd probably find some amazing apartment on the ocean for $100.

As it turns out, I found a house.

Although it's not $100, it's $450, with heat and lights included. It's furnished, it has 3 bedrooms, a cute little kitchen, a porch, a living room, and a little deck. Goddamn. I can't wait to post pictures of the view from my living room (woa. my living room). We lucked out. As it turns out someone's 90 year old grandmother passed away recently, leaving this cute little cottage-like house vacant. The children weren't sure what to do with the house, but my new boss (who is related to these people) called, and they decided to rent it, for the right person. Turns out, it was me! It's a good thing, because there was really nothing else. If that hadn't come along, I probably wouldn't have decided to stay.

As a matter of fact, when I initially talked with Myrene, my new boss, I didn't have a good feeling at all. It had nothing to do with Myrene, as she seems like a great person, and made me feel very comfortable. I think it was panic. She talked about the type of stuff I would do, and talked about the town, and then it just seemed too real. This was really happening. After our first conversation, we drove around town a bit and looked at some places to stay. Well, we looked at 2 places to stay. One was a 2 bedroom apartment, that we couldn't go into because it was being renovated, and the other was the house, which we also couldn't get into, because no one was around. Besides, it was a house. I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. So, the little, screaming girl made herself known again. I didn't want to stay, I didn't feel good about it. I must say, I was a basket case.

Then we returned to the office, where we talked a bit more. We gave Delbert, the son of the woman who used to live in the house. He told my father the price over the phone, and my father nearly took it right away. We drove back to the house to meet Delbert. We waited in the car for about 10 minutes for him. During that time, we tried to figure out the budget. Rent would cost a little over 1 week of work. Not bad at all. So, we looked through the house. I must say, it was a bit spooky, as there were family knick-knacks all around the house. Her presence was still very much in the house. But it's such a cute little place, and I must say I started to get a little excited. I had visions of morning coffees in my kitchen, and daquiries on my deck. Holy shit.

So we left, and had a bite to eat (note to self: cook for yourself, the chicken I ordered at the restaurant was frozen in the middle, ugh). This was probably my most basket-case-esque part of the day. For the past few days, I'd been constantly on the verge of tears (which came to a head on Sunday, but I digress) but yesterday was the worst. I had a bit of a breakdown at the restaurant, but I tried to keep it unnoticeable. After talking with my parents/mental health workers/real estate agents, I realized that I couldn't not take it. Even if it turns out to be a terrible experience, it would be better than wondering what would happen if I didn't take it.

There is the money thing, though. I hope I can get on Interest Relief so I can have some extra breathing room while I'm there. Otherwise, I think we figured I'd have something like $100 extra at the end of the month, which is not enough for me for an emergency fund.

So, I'll be moving on January 17th, and starting work on January 19th. I'm expecting a big send off, okay? I'm also expecting everyone to visit me. I have 2 extra rooms, don't forget. Plenty of room for visitors.

There's lots more to talk about, but I've got lots of stuff to do with work, so I better end it here.

Oh, Happy New Year, Everyone!!!!

Well, it looks like I'll be travelling to Sheet Harbour tomorrow. It should make for an interesting day.

Things just got a little more real. With the holidays, this was placed on the backburner of my mind, but now it's on the front burner, coming to a rolling boil.

I feel like there's a little girl somewhere inside me having a temper tantrum, red-faced, tear-soaked, and fists clenched, yelling "I DON'T WANNA GO!". Then there's me, on the outside, trying to calm the little girl down, but with a look of desperation, and understanding, thinking "I understand what you're feeling, but you've got to be a big girl now".

Wah.

As this becomes more and more real, I find myself comparing the two paths available to me. One of them, at the moment, seems so much more appealing to me because it is safe, warm, comfortable, and predictable. The other is dark, scary, and unknown.

But off I go anyway, I guess. To the ocean.

In the past week, I've won any game I've played against another person. Weird, huh? I don't think it has anything to do, in particular, with skills, I just think the planets are aligned in my favour. Or something.

So, by now, I'm feeling rather impatient. I've just been waiting.. waiting for things to happen, waiting for things to begin, or end. Last night I was in a particularly pensive mood (riding in the back seat of a car on a highway will do that, I suppose). I just kept wishing that I could look into the future, to see what will happen with all this; to see if it's really worth all the worry I've allocated to it.

Christmas is over. I felt something strange this year. Seeing as how this is the one time of year I sort of enjoy going to church, I always open myself up for some sort of spiritual awakening, for some epiphanous moment (that's probably not a word, but I like it). This year, it all seemed rather empty, on a fundamental level. I started questioning the dogma of it all. Christians (and even more so, Catholics), loooove to worship, or at least get rather emotional, over people other than God. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, hehe. Being at church this year, I just felt people have forgotten God. It's like, we've given up trying to understand this other life force, so we've turned all our energies into worshiping something more human, more tangible, more like us. Maybe that was God's plan, but for me, Jesus should be a vessel through whom to understand God, not a vessel onto himself.

All of my teachings at Sunday School has preached this relationship - that they are all one God, but I think, somehow, it's easier for people to forget God and worship his cooler, younger son.

Huh?

I guess the conclusion to all this is that I don't consider myself a Christian, if the fundamental belief of Christians is that Jesus was God's son. I don't know if he was, and even is he was, I think God should come first. I do believe in God, but I guess for now that is where my faith ends. And that's okay with me.

In all the excitement over the past few weeks, I've sort of forgotten that it's Christmas tomorrow. I'm still thinking in terms of Days of the Week, rather than How Many Days Left Until Christmas. However, today, Wednesday, is Christmas eve.

Last night my parents and I spent a few minutes around the tree shaking gifts. I opened a gift from my sister. They are homemade earrings. Homemade from what, I do not know, but they are, uhm interesting. I must say, my initial reaction was horror, but I am developing a fondness for them. I tried them on last night, and my father said I could pull it off, and they are actually quite nice on. They are definitely a conversation piece. I think I shall wear them to church tonight. Maybe I'll take a picture of them at some point, huh?

The prospect of moving away is slowly sinking it. It comes in fits and bursts. I do feel some kind of breakdown brewing, but I think that will come when/if I do eventually leave. Over the last two years I've built a comfortable, albeit mundane and routine, life for myself. I've taken a lot of things for granted, and I know I will miss the small things, as well as the big things.

Sometimes, I get so sad about leaving everyone. Especially right now, of all times. I went out with L last night and she looked so sad, which made me sad. Not being able to just call any of you up to just hang out will be hard.

But exciting. Even though I intend to keep all my ties with everyone here, it's exciting to go somewhere where NO ONE knows me. It's not even like going to University. There, everyone in town was in the same boat. We were all outsiders. Now, I'll be the only one - trying to adapt to new surroundings, trying to meet new people.

But not only for my own needs. Part of my job, I anticipate, will be developing positive relationships with this community. With individuals, with businesses, with politicians. So, the minute I arrive, I will have to be the best version of myself. Luckily for me, I think that the best version from myself isn't that far off from the worst version of myself.

I remember that first day I arrived at Mount A. I remember being so shy, but pushing myself to try to meet people. As a sort of compromise, I wrote furiously in my journal, but I did so in the Main Entry of my residence, hoping, desperately, that someone would strike up a conversation with me. It never happened. I never really made any friends, besides the few people who lived on my wing, and their friends.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not entirely sure I want to make loads of new friends. In fact, I'd be happy living my daily life on my own. Working, meeting new contacts, helping people out, but at the end of the day, going home and just being by myself, or going out exploring this little town I've thrust myself into. Then again, I guess I've always been like that. I've always needed time to myself.

I don't know what my point in writing all this is. I've got so many random thoughts in my head, none of them leading to any sort of conclusion, and all overlapping. I can't make sense of anything right now, so trying to write all of it down seems to be the best plan at the moment.

All I know right now is that I'm scared, folks. I'm scared of so many things right now.

I'm so happy. I'm so excited. I'm so exhausted.

Goddamn. What it is with boys and impeccable timing? Just as I was feeling all confused and emotional, Santa's Little Helper calls, and everything just seems nicer.

I guess that's the best way to end this post. I need to enjoy these days. It's Christmas Fucking Eve. Santa is coming with lots of presents. And then there's Turkey, and Eggnog, and Rum, and Hugs, and Kisses, and Little Red Bows....

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Or, Feliz Naviblah.

Just by chance I checked in on The Editing Room tonight to find this. And yes, as a matter of fact, I was wondering why the updates were so rare.

As I fall into none of the categories he writes about, I figure the least I can do is give him a bit more attention. Maybe there are some publishers out there who will give the guy a break. He's fucking hilarious.

OOOOooooOOooooOooooo.

So, it's been yet another productive day here. So, I decided to find an online Tarot Reading. I like Tarot's. I have a set, given to me by Yo/na, a rather eccentric lady who used to frequent my other Center. Anywho, I must say I was comforted by the reading, even if it's all just random algorithms in a computer.

Here you are, for your view pleasure:

how you feel about yourself now

Perhaps you feel due for a bit of good luck or indeed are experiencing some at the moment. The Wheel of Fortune is a card of destiny. What is happening now we could call fate, so if positive things are happening with your love life, career or finances this is no coincidence. If no such things are happening, expect a sudden change in fortune.

what you most want at this moment

The cards suggest Jenn, that what you most want at this time is an easy
solution to a problem. However in life, turmoil and upheaval often brings
about change - just not quite as we would like it. Seize this opportunity of
change as a chance for a new beginning. You may want to move home but will be experiencing setbacks.

your fears

You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying 'be
careful, all is not as it seems' - something just doesn't feel right. If so,
delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If
male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.

what is going for you

A time of absolute endings and brand new beginnings, your life is going
through a period of great transformation. Whilst it may be difficult or even
painful you will pull through. You will be free for a brand new phase in
your life.

what is going against you

You may experience a few delays on your quest for success and achievement but don't worry, you'll get there in a blaze of glory. Success may go to your head a little so a little modesty wouldn't go amiss. Other than a few minor delays, look forward to a period of joy and happiness. If you are experiencing problems with conceiving a baby, The Sun often heralds good news around children and a much wanted pregnancy or birth of a longed-for baby.

I got the job.

Jesus.

Still no word.

Is it just me, or has your junk mail petered out a bit in the last few days? Is it possible that spammers need a vacation?

Ah well, good for them.

Also, I do not have a particularly glowing review for Lily's Chinese Buffet. Actually, part of the problem was that we came only after the peak time of the buffet, so all the food was slightly cold. That said, we had about 12 plates between us of food, including desert.

I've enjoyed a week with a clean desk, but now it's messy again. Better get back to work.

Fuck. It's 4pm. I'm now pretty sure that I'll have to endure this for the rest of the weekend.

This is, obviously, the worst case scenario, and it's ruining my otherwise great mood. I'm feeling angry and impatient and cynical and sarcastic. I have to snap out of this before I show my face in public. Yarg. I've just been sitting here for the past hour trying to busy with myself with something, anything, but it always just leads me back to staring at my phone. I'm not an obsessive person, but this is just driving me nutty. I don't feel like myself right now.

Okay, I'll stop there. I needed to vent.

(thanks to Jan for the idea)

1. Make a 100 Things To Do While Waiting For a Job Call list.
2. Watch your computer defrag itself. Mmm.. Clusters.
3. Eat. Preferably something with a time intensive wrapper. Oh, like an orange.
4. Chat mindlessly with Jana (of course)
5. Check your cell phone's ringer settings. About 4 dozen times.
6. Meticulously go through Winamp to construct the Best Playlist Ever.
7. Give yourself a manicure.
8. Read Archie comics - Archie's life is always worse than one's own!
9. Finish writing out your Christmas cards.
10. Count the keys on your keyboard. (105)
11. Tie your shoelaces in double knots. Then, try to take them out.
12. Make a paper clip necklace.
13. Stage an Office Chair Roller Derby.
14. Pee.
15. Check your cell phone again.
16. Act out the entire score of Jospeh and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
17. Masturbate furiously.
18. See how many times you can wrap tape around your finger until it turns blue.
19. Make an Office Chair Fort.
20. Dance.
21. Count down the days until Christmas. 6. Damnit.
22. Make a self portrait.
23. Reconsider plastic surgery.
24. Make pornographic dioramas.
25. Write reports for the government. Top secret reports.
26. Well, actually, they're just my quarterly financial reports. Pretty boring.

Geez, relax, I'm talking about the movie I went to last night, you bunch of perverts.

Oh, by the way, I got that picture from typing 'pervert' into the Google Image search. It was on the first page. So, I'm not the one that's going to Hell.

By sheer luck, the good people at Famous Players added a 4th showing of LOTR: ROTK at 10:15, which meant we did not have to wait in line with a gazillion other geeks. Instead, we walked right into a half-full theatre. It was quite pleasant, and I'm happy to report the movie monster did NOT rear his head.

I won't go on too much about the movie. It's just the conclusion of an epic film. It doesn't particularly have a lot of merit on it's own, but of course if you've followed the trilogy, you have to see it. It is a bit long, especially towards the end, but the whole thing is a masterpiece. One thing I did notice was the camera work. The camera was constantly moving. In many movies, the camera just serves to frame the movement of the actors - they move within the space the camera creates. However in this movie, there is a sense of relentless motion at all times, sometimes with a rather dizzying effect. It's like the camera is part of the story, part of what makes the story so exciting.

Okay, I'll put away my pocket protector now.. Hyehn.

So, tonight is a date with Lisa. I also really, really, really have to finish my Christmas shopping. I really only have a few things to buy, and I think I know what I'm getting, so I will probably go to the mall after work and put that baby to sleep.

Oh, and one last thing.

Oh, and this.

I just remembered one of the questions I was asked during the interview. I'm interested in getting all and any of your answers:

You're in the middle of a presentation for Planned Parenthood regarding family planning options and abortion, when someone gets up and says that abortion is murder. What do you do?"

In case you're wondering, my answer was something to the affect of that I would create a dialogue with the individual. That I would open it up to discussion, so we could learn from each other. I would respect his opinion, and would not try to change it, but rather create a free flowing communication. Or something like that. What would you do?

Ugh, I hate clowns.

Hoorah! I'm going to Return of the King tonight! Yip! It should be a good time, as long as the Movie Monster doesn't rear his ugly head and threaten the lives of anyone who talks and/or eats popcorn and/or breathes too loudly during the movie.

This morning I started my day by taking pictures of a sad little Christmas Concert that was put on by some wee ones from.. somewhere. I think it was a school, but I'm not entirely sure. It was pretty cute until a girl got a nose bleed and then the children started crying. Ah well. The life of the THEATRE! I wanted to post some pictures of them, but I don't yet have permission to publish the pictures of the kids, and I don't want to be arrested. At least not over something like that. If I were ever to get arrested, I'm sure it would involve indecency and/or lewd conduct.

Oh, yes. Sarah and I went to see Bad Santa last night. Considering the preview I've seen, I was expecting it to be, well, bad. However, it was pretty god damn fucking funny. Mostly because of the swearing and foulness of the characters. Also, midgets are funny.

So, now I'm sitting here, wildly moving my fingers to stave off frost bite as it is really fucking cold in here at the moment. I'm also wearing my Lucky Wednesday Skirt. For the last 2 weeks, when I have worn this skirt on a Wednesday, I've, well.. gotten lucky.. so to speak. So, I'm waiting for Sue to come walking through the door to tell me I can have her job, or Ed McMahon to come in and tell me I've one the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I'll let ya know.

I just finished the interview. I think it went really well. Ugh. Out of 22 applicants, they interviewed 3.

I'll know by Friday.

I must say, all this dramatic weather has been pretty exciting, if not slightly inconvinient.

However, I got the afternoon off today, which I spent being somewhat productive. I finished trimming the tree, an endeavour which was cut short when my little helpers left me to play cards with my aunt and her fiancé. Bastards. So, I finished my rum n' eggnog alone and prepared nachos for the Survivor finale. We made the evening interesting my placing bets on the winner. I went for Darrah and lost $5. Damnit.

The rest of the day was spent doing laundry, and trying to get mentally prepared for this interview. I've decided to go the 'less is more' route and try to not overprepare, which was most definitely my downfall on my last interview. I think better when I'm relaxed, so the plan for tonight is to maybe have some more rum n' eggnog and go to bed early.

I'm realizing that if they do offer me the job, I'll be needing to make some hard decisions. I'm not looking forward to it, and I'm half-hoping I won't have to. We'll see, though, I guess. Also, there have been some recent developments in my former place of employement (which shall remain nameless) that may play in my favour.

Eggnog awaits... I hope everyone is warm and cozy.

It's been a slow day. It's been SO slow, that I decided to jot down a few more things about me in the 100 Things About Me page. Like, another 100 things. I promise I'll stop now. I just find myself so goddamn interesting!

And, as promised, Volume 5!

March 2
We went to go see nanna in the hospital. She seemed very, very, very, very, very, very tired! bye (Note: My grandmother had Cancer)

March 3
Boy, it's hot here! (girl guide sleepover) Ms. Berry took a picture of me while I was doing my lip-sync. bey!

March 4
I won second place for the lip sinc contast at the girl guides sleepover! I find I was very helpful today. bey!

March 5
We went to Nanna's house. Susie and T. Jay are getting a long better (I find) Well, bye! (Note: Susie was my grandparents dog, T. Jay was our cocker spaniel)

March 7
I can't wait to go skiing Friday, I'm probably going to brake at lest 1 bone.

March 12 (Friday)
We went skiing. Tanya bump in to a tree and almost broke her derière! It was so fun, I think I'm pretty good! (Note: I have yet to ever go downhill skiing again)

March 15
Angelina keeps on taking my school supplies. I hate Angelina so much. Mrs. Ross could have to put her cat asleep.

There really is no better way to start a Friday morning than by drinking Candy Cane Hot Chocolate from Timothy's. Yum.

The only thing that would possibly make it better is if I were drinking it out this bad boy.

Yeah, that's right. You know you want it.

It must be high quality. It's hand wash only!

The funny thing is that I don't even really like Star Wars. I just got it because it's so damn ugly, and I think it pump up my geek-credibility.

I picked this up this morning at the Aliant Offices. I didn't get my gift certificate from Lilly's yet, though. The folks at Aliant are a little too disorganized for my tastes.

I hope all of you have good weekends. I know at least a few of you have some rockin' staff parties to go to. As for myself, I have no real plans. Tonight will probably be spent relaxing in from of the TV. I think I'll do a tarot reading, and do my mother's nails for my father's staff party tomorrow night. Tonight is also the finale of House Rules which I would like to watch. I started getting into it as that was usually the only thing that was on on Saturday mornings when I got up.

Tomorrow I will be going shopping, I think. Fuck. I'm only going for the company, and then afterwards we are hopefully going to play Uru and drink.

Hey, to anyone who is like me and hates shopping because of all the people who don't know how to walk in public, I highly recommend walking with, or behind a 6"1 tall man. He's like a goddamn snow plow. But for people. It really does make the experience slightly more tolerable.

Anyway, tomorrow will be my final shopping day, dangnabbit. I will be finishing off everyone else I haven't gotten to, yet.

Stay tuned. I plan on posting another volume this afternoon!

Really, though. If this month gets any better, I'm going to explode.

I pretty much forgot about The Best Job In The World, as it was a few weeks ago, even a month ago, that I had applied.

But, we're back in business, baby!

I just got a call from Myrene. Interview, next Tuesday, at 3:30pm.

Rock, fucking ON!

There has been surprisingly little online activity today. Where is everyone? I'm lonely....

Someone is playing a Vince Gill Christmas album here today, and I want to throw the stereo out the window. Y'know, I think Christianity would have a much better reputation if they banned country singers from singing about 'Jay-zus'.

I'm going home tonight to take a nice long bath.. Oh, it was SOOOOO nice last night to come home to a clean room! THANK YOU LISA AND VICKS!!! I loved all the little touches you put in there (the bear with the remote, how all the pillows were organized by colour, how all the sheets were tucked in perfectly). I'm sure it took you forever to do. I really appreciated it. It was nice sliding into a warm, cozy bed last night.

The Lasso Of Truth Continues to Glow! Ha!

Okay, everyone. Have a nice evening.

Some of you have been asking me to put up a wishlist. Well, here ya are!

Hawksley Workman - (Last Night We Were) The Delicious Wolves

The White Stripes - Elephant


Nocturnal Admissions: Behind the Scenes of the Sunday Night Sex Show

Uru: Ages Beyond Myst oh, and the computer I will need to play it.

Asian Style Tableware (these, but black)



That's it for now. I'll update if I think of anything else!

Against my better judgement, I went to work today. I've had some seriously good karma lately, and I figured I'd better not tempt fate by being naughty.

So, the weekend was pretty good, all things considered. After decorating my living room a la Spongebob, Lisa and I met up with Vicki. We went out for supper to Mike's, then out shopping to find a suitable board game for the evening. Board games are really expensive. So, we settled for a Simpsons game. I'll spare the details, but it was a little confusing, especially at 1am. Maybe we'll try it again.. when it doesn't suck so much.

Saturday we went to Calactus, a vegetarian restaurant on St. George. It was quite yummy. I had curry carrot soup, and a fallafel - everytime I hear that word, I always think of A Dinner and a Movie, where they had a dish for Ferris Beuller's Day Off called "I Can't Go To School Today, I Fallafel". It still makes me laugh.

Sunday night, Sarah came over and we had an actual girly-girl spa night, where we did masks and I gave everyone pedis/manis. Oh, and watched Labyrinth.

Sunday, of course, was spent wasting time. We sat around and asked each other silly questions, mostly about sex. We took a walk down the street to get butter for supper. We pushed some guy's van out of this driveway. He was rather rude, and we think he just went down the street. Probably to buy cigarettes. Oh well.

I've blogged enough for one morning. Better get back to work.

Oh my god Oh my god OH MY GOD.

I JUST TALKED WITH SUE.

Vicki and Lisa are stranded here tonight, and I wanted to call Sue about a recent discovery at Shoppers. It was VCF, which is Vaginal Contraceptive Film. I wanted to know what she thought about it, and if it affected the taste during oral sex.

Apparently, VFC contains nonoxynil-9, which I already knew, but what I DIDN'T know was that nonoxynil can give people an allergic reaction, namely, it can swell the lips of the person who is, uhm, servicing your parts. Ahem.

Oh, also, she doesn't think it's very reliable because it may not cover your cervix completely, so sperm can still get in. So, Sue did not give a glorious review of VCF, and then she started cross-examining me about the various other methods of birth-control/std control, etc. I was awesome, and countered her ideas with the fact that I'm NOT an irresponsible idiot (like some of the other callers I've heard), and that VCF was just one of many forms of prophylactics I have in my pleasure chest. I think I impressed her.

Okay, so, that was the technical aspects of the phone call.

But, seriously, I JUST TALKED WITH SUE.

This is like Moses talking to the burning bush. Huge, man. (no pun intended, heh heh).

Oh, and they spelled my name right. Two 'n's.

This has been the best fucking week EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I've settled back into reality a little bit, so I'm not the raving lunatic I was yesterday. I had a great bath, an even better sleep, so I've once again joined the living, and sane.

I got some awful news yesterday. A great guy from Mount A has Cancer and it doesn't look good. I met him the first day of university, as he lived just across the hall from in Trueman. We would always prank each other's rooms. I continued being friends with him for the next 3 years. We partied a lot. He was one of these people who just went into a room and everyone waited to see what he had to say, because he's so fucking funny. But he's also just a great, kind hearted person. So, if you pray, or anything like that, send some good vibes to Brett. Thanks.

Well, it's almost time to go home. This weekend we'll be celebrating Vicki's 24th birthday! It should be a good time.

Oh, and my sister just got a new apartment, after a long and exhaustive search. Go over and say congrats.

And, for Chrissakes, I will be putting up a new volume soon. I double-dog, cross my heart promise. Seriously.

Wow. Yesterday was, without a doubt, in the top five of my greatest days of all time. Maybe top 3. I took the day off to get my hair done (after about a month of bitching about it...), and to finish my Christmas shopping. The hair looks funking fantastic (thanks Colin...and Visa..) and I was a demon in the malls. My best buys were Alfred Sung ties for my father. For fifteen dollars. They're so nice. If my father doesn't like them, I'll wear them myself, just on principle. I also got some great stuff for everyone else in my family, so I can pretty much cross all of them off my list.

Anyway.

I'm going to remain mysterious here and just say that the rest of the evening was very, very good.

Very.

However, I am very, very tired, and maybe a little hungover. I think it took me an hour just to type this post. At least, it felt like it.